Monday, March 15, 2010

My Son Jordyn's Very Short Story

I woke up to the sound of whirring and felt confused and freaked out in the head because I didn't know where I was or how I got there. I groggily opened my sleep encrusted eyes and saw viscuous dirt, food and other weird crud encrusted tar black, and taco explosion yellow slime that resembles the underside of a neglected old fridge. I'm laying uncomfortably propped up with my head and shoulders against a crumbling cardboard box and smell the remains of old vegetables, other food and rust. Dim, yellow lighting coming from behind the fan on the tiled moldy ceiling illuminates the aged yellow plastic walls. I turn my head towards the sound of water dripping tck... tck... tck... tck... against something that sounds of plastic or rubber. I look towards the sound and see a shelf stocked full of fly ridden meat. I retch, gagging and swallowing to stop myself from spewing chunks. Looking away from the disgusting cuts of decomposing flesh I see a rusty red and silver metal door. On it in black sharpie are the words, "You lose."
( He would like feedback please. )


  1. He sure has a talent for making the scene come alive and drawing you right in. I was kind of gagging too at the end.